How can i be so torn between three completely seperate issues?

I'm having trouble deciding where to put my focus.

1. Weightloss/thinness/sickness

2.Health/wellness/love

3. Getting out of debt/going to school/being an adult

I'm so close to being out of debt. I can do it by the end of the year, for sure. But if I focus on that, loosing weight has to take a backseat. And I don't know if I can handle being fat for another 2 months.

I gained four pounds over night. Thursday I was 123.5, friday I was 128. It's gotta be my period, right? i need it to hurry up and get here. I'm supposed to be 117 in like, a week. It's not going to happen.

need to stop eating. need to keep working. need to exercise. need to restrict. need to cleanse. need to hide. need to disappear. need to sleep. need to drink more water. need more diet pills. need some lax. need to take my vitamins. need to stop sneaking food. need to be better. stronger. more in control. fuck you, body.