I don't ever use this anymore.

I'm finally back in nashville, after a 4.5 month hiatus from life. I think I was dying. I don't know what happened to me really.

But I'm back now. And I'm doing well. I'm beginning to feel somewhat human again. My mind is little more clear.

I'm still working on a book/memoir/whatever thing. I reread it today for the first time since March. And there were parts I couldn't believe came from me. And there were parts that still hurt so vividly that there was no denying it. Missy Higgins was singing, and I was crying. I wanted a hug.

I guess, I have to start working on the 'after' now. I'm eating, and I feel ok. I don't feel guilty, and my weight is fine. I may even be thin? (Did I just say that? Shit.) I am okay with my weight. And after 14 months of no periods, I finally started again. My body is literally going through puberty right now. I'm talking pms to the extreme, excess oil in my hair, and face breaking out.

But I'm learning and growing, and I hope soon i'll start loving.

There are still days where I get this crazy idea not to eat lunch. Or maybe I need to lose a few, or the girls at work talk about there diets, and compare calories with each other. But I'm nearly on the other side now... and I'm constantly reminded of what a nightmare 2010 has been. And I have every intention of continuing forward. One step at a time. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other. And sometimes one bite at a time.